The cacti are blooming. My heart's not sure what place it's in.
This is a rare time where I am not contemplating the meaning of contentment.
Instead I find myself drawn to the images, sounds and smells that make me feel most impassioned and euphoric.
sadness yet not despair.
happiness without joyfulness.
a strange contradiction of senses.
Instead of observing the tiny details around me I dreamily flit about in a haze.
I lose things of importance (ID and bank cards)
I have no sense for keeping track of finances.
awaken with bruises from nowhere.
One of the most important material possessions I have is no longer working and I have no idea how. My 35mm Nikon FG camera that was my mother's and I've used since I was 12.
little monetary value. great sentimental value.
I have loved film photography for so long. I can't help but see my broken camera as some sinister symbolic misfortune.
So I'll keep waiting.
I may not be patient about it but wait nonetheless I will do.
Ever hopeful my often downfall.
